Ok, so you can all stop updating me on the apparently important and life-changing things you did on New Year's Eve (I blame Mark Zuckerberg), because I bet that none of you paused a moment to think about the fact that thousands of years ago, a bunch of Mayan holy men predicted that the world was gonna implode and/or explode and/or be colonized by a gang of extra-terrestrial bullies THIS YEAR. Either way, you've only got so much time left to dress like a buffoon and establish a long-lasting legacy as a fearless pioneer of sartorial genius. And let's be honest, would you rather go out in a pair of Lulus and Uggs or in an entirely impractical umbrella hat vis à vis Balenciaga?? Or basically anything Alexander Wang or Thakoon? Or any variation on the harem pant?
Time is of the essence and you still look like a normal person, so that's gonna need some fixin'. And guess who's gonna guide you along the way. Me! So follow, follow, follow and like, like, like.