This Week's Roundup: The Weirdest & Apparently Wearable Shit I've Seen on the Internet

Leave it to Opening Ceremony to bring you the freakiest fare on the market, all apparently boasting the convenient feature of wearability...that is if you consider a curtain rod of thick black tassels as a face covering a "wearable" feature to an apparel product. Here to help you get through the day, a line-up of the most radrid-iculous findings I've come across this week, ideal in case there are some of you who don't actually have to take part in practical life situations, i.e. grocery shopping, walking down the street, and/or human-to-human interaction and for whom frontal vision and social acceptance is not a requirement for overall personal contentment.

Take this one here. For the socially non-volitient. Not particularly interested in the conversation currently being directed at you? Well take action! Close dem curtains and get back to contemplating your own substantially more riveting inner voice. 

Feel like channelling your inner 1970s lampshade? Ya, me too. ALL THE TIME. 

 Are you a ghetto fabulous fusion of punk-rocker meets douchebag bro? OF COURSE YOU ARE. Because I KNOW my target market.

 The next one? For the Japanese Harajuku Wannabe: Now you can be a GONNA-BE. I mean, where is democracy when wearable teddy bears are exclusive to the south-eastern hemisphere and to children under the age of ten?

And I'll call this one "That one guy who will never get laid. Ever."

DITTO.

Because, in the end, life is about making the choice between personal acceptance into society and head-to-toe floral, athletic rompers. Trust me, Oprah said so.