Saturday, December 24, 2011
Strategic Christmas Shopping Uniform
But how do you arm yourself against the offendingly bright L.E.D. lights and the disturbing troops of carolers dressed up as robotic pilgrims plastered with creepy smiles and singing songs that are so annoyingly well-harmonized you want to stuff a fruitcake down their esophaguses?
Dress somewhat along the lines of this:
Component 1: A massive, lama-inspired sweater that also doubles as a coat, a.k.a. perfect for outdoor to in-store transitioning and for hiding one's face from recognition.
And that's all folks! However, if hysteric holiday shoppers scare the bejeebies out of you, stay home like me, eat chocolate and clementines,wash it down with wine and whiskey until you make yourself sick, then repeat.