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Sunday, September 4, 2011

Fashion Safety 101: Limb-Loss

Tomorrow is a work holiday and we all know what happens when people don't go to work. Accidents, that's what! People experience an ethereal high triggered by this new-found freedom and slowly lose their capacity for responsible decision-making. They fall into rivers, tumble off ladders and even, in the worst cases, lose limbs. And I don't mean that they misplace them, oooooooh no. I mean that they get all cocky and think they're gonna pull out the chainsaw and finally chop down that tree that's been blocking their carefully-positioned look-out base which gives the most impeccable view of the cute girl/guy next door, and then lo and behold, arms/legs/pinky fingers get the heave-ho in a bloody, chainsaw-massacre-esque scene.

Well, in the fashion world, we face these perils EVERYDAY! Especially since the oh-so-sexy hand chains emerged onto the scene. You put one of these on and you can say ta-ta to your finger(s) if anything were ever to catch itself on that pesky, yet gorgeous, little chain that links the bracelet to the ring. 

So, in this chapter, your homework is to carefully examine each of the following case-studies and determine which poses the most risk to the maintenance of all of your current limbs and then..................................................go buy it.

Mesh Diamond Hand Piece

The moral of this bed-time story is not that you should be wary of eating lovely-looking apples from hooded, wart-faced and jealousy-infested queens disguised as good-hearted yet horrifically unattractive senior citizens, although I'm sure that I may have accidentally aluded to the contrary. 

Where was I? Ah, yes, morals. This one being that fashion hurts and prosthetics were made for a reason. 

Embrace both.

Images courtesy of Free People, bellesandrebelles.blogspot.com, shopstyle.com.au, Polyvore, House of Harlow, and 2dopebitches.com

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