Crown Jewels: Put a Ring on it

I made a ring out of silver. Yes, they let me go near a blow torch, acidic baths, and other unidentifiable heavy machinery. This is how I wear it.


La Fin.

Hotter in Hell

Zombie Boy by Matt Barnes

Jamaica 2012 or How I Apparently Smuggled Illicit Drugs into the Country

Mother, don't be alarmed. I did no such thing. However, Canadian Immigration was much less persuaded. It took a great deal of convincing and the upholding of a rather charming pretence of naiveté concerning the seemingly suspicious nature of my three day escapade to Jamaica which went much along the lines of this: 

"Ma'am, with all due respect, I'm wearing a shirt that could justifiably be mistaken for a wind sock  solely based on the fact that I think it's stylish. Do I really look like your everyday female drug pusher?" 

…….Ma'am did not like this response.

But all's well that ends well and after much intimidation and violation of my personal privacy, I was graciously permitted back into the country. So here for you is a pictorial review of how I DID go to Jamaica and how I DID NOT bring back illegal narcotics and how I learned that dressing like an asshole is not a valid enough excuse to successfully negate the contrary.

Lesson learned. Fun had. 

Bad Manners Put to Good Use: The Exhibition

In case you were wondering, the second photo was made possible courtesy of my finely-honed hair whipping skills combined with an utter lack of awareness for social standards of self-restraint. A.K.A. we pranced around half naked for an hour and my friend documented it. You betcha they don't teach you that in finishing school. 

 For more photos, check out D-Construct.

Winning in a Russian Accent

AND zee vinner izz...

Cindy Batchelor. Congratulations to you. Condolences to others.

To Cindy: Check your inbox for love mail from me. Happy Ambushing.

To Ambush Apparel: Kudos for supplying the goods.

To the aforementioned "others": Now do you see the benefits and prosperity that come when one feigns admiration for myself and my cause (sincerity of said admiration not required)? Lesson learned. HUMOUR ME.

Win it and Wear it

In following my irritatingly redundant ramblings about ChrismaCanada Day, here I offer you a post which will be uncharacteristically short (like me) and sweet (like me), all in the spirit of giving. 

SPEAKING OF GIVING. I want to give you this tank top. Well Ambush Apparel wants to give it to you, but as the middle man (correction: child) I unashamedly take full credit for their compassion and unhindered generosity. Scroll down to see how I wear it sans bra and in shorts which resemble most closely an oversized diaper and thus, embarrass the elderly and the senile.

 And I truly believe that you are all winners, but let's be honest, there will be only ONE winner:

1) Like FWF on FB here
2) Follow moi on Twitter here
3) Like Ambush Apparel on FB here
4) Comment down under and leave your name and e-mail address

DO ALL THIS BY FRIDAY JULY 6 AT MIDNIGHT!

That's it, that's all folks. Now check out my bum and skedaddle.

P.S. I'm off to Jamaica for three days. Photo documentation to follow.