Holy Mother Effer

Boyfriend, pay attention. I want em'.

Jeffrey Campbell, of course.

P.S. Tomorrow after confronting the doctor with an onslaught of questions regarding my several awkward medical maladies, I will be having a 15-years-late catch-up coffee with a verrrrry talented friend that I went to elementary school with, who is now making her mark on the Canadian indie-pop music scene. A music-maker and style-shaker with A LOT of hair, stay tuned for my feature on her in the coming days.
Ok, buh bye.

Fashion Birth Control: Care of Mary-Kate and Ashley

Remember watching Full House when you were a mere youngster and feeling inherently compelled to throttle Michelle at every aggravatingly irritating, "meant-to-be funny but never was" line that would come out of her mouth (or shall I say their mouths, as in those of both Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen). Well thank God for time and its trusty accomplice, aging, because they are both responsible for the fruition of the fabulously fashionable Olsen twins and their debut line, The Row. The twins put fashion first and sexy....dead last. I have no objections.

I am enamored by these women for their near-midget stature (like me) and their adoration of fur, maximalist styling, and bohemian accents (like me, IS me, dear Lord I need to be their friend).

So, here are just a few looks from the Resort 2011collection from The Row. Billowy, over-sized, monochromatic, harem, tailored, leather, tweed, menswear, brogues, maxi skirts, boxy, sperm-repelling. Chyeaaah.

Michelle, you have been redeemed and I forgive you.  

Rings and Things: featuring Chip 'n Nails

Just a few of the bedazzlers I sport day to day. Followed by another one that I want to add to the collection, although I feel it is equivalent to visible tattoos in its ability to terrify potential employers, old people, and your boyfriend's parents. Alas, this is the doom and gloom one must face for sartorial satisfaction, not to mention the needed distraction to my chronic lack of nail-polish up-keep. 

And when it comes to more jewelery, I say, "Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme!" and simultaneously transform into a giddy third-grader raiding her mother's dust-covered box of jewels and gems from the eighties which embody the phrase "horrifically tacky." 

Elephantitis ring

Slither-ring

Gold cuff handed down from my mom

MAFIA Saber Toothed Tigah Ring. So fierce. 

A,B,C,D.I.Y.

That's not how the alphabet goes! Well ya, I know that, and I have a super serious bachelor's degree to prove that I know that........and other things...... 

I'm just trying to be creative here my friends. Because my D.I.Y. project of the morning was spurred on by a little flash of creativity that turned into hella creativity! So best to just keep a good thing going, right?

Well I started out wanting to make a fur headband out of my friend's discarded glove that she left at my place after the loss of its twin, its ami, its compadre. It was a sad little glove, staring at me for months in its forlorn loneliness. I knew something had to be done.

So today I said, "Hey glove, TODAY IS YOUR DAY!" I got out my seam-rippers, some thread, some leather rope, and I ripped it apart! 

And then I hand-sewed the rope onto the ends of the fur.

And then, I tried it on and I realized it could be a necklace too!

AND THEN, I realized it could be an arm cuff!

Lonely glove, no more! Hey, I'm just trying to make the world a better place.

D.I.Y. Sunday

My children, tis the day of rest. Rejoice and be glad. Or just be lazy.

But not too lazy! I'm not trying to promote an inactive lifestyle here, because childhood obesity is a SERIOUS problem people, a problem! So today, I encourage you to flex and strengthen your D.I.Y. muscles, stretch out your creative mind and join me in a quest to Fit Bittie status! 

And these ear adornments can be the fruits of your labour (that's labour with a U because I am from le Canada, so suck it auto-correct). Yes I made these, and you can too.

Ma! Look what I made!

 The Workout Plan:

1. Hit up your favourite craft store and grab some round-nose jewelery pliers, earing hooks, and some cool charms worthy of hanging from your lobes.
2. Then bend and twist the hooks, and attach them to the charms. 
3. Yep, that's it.

As Hal and Joanne would say, "Keep fit and have fun!"

Can't get enough

My new fav.....at least for now.

The Girl's Guide to Growing Up (or pretending to)

Graduation came and went (Well no, that's a lie, I'm not considered officially graduated until I pay my university $33.46 and they remove my academic sanction...I guess I should do that.) and now, apparently it is considered irresponsible parenting to hand your child $13,000 for their future academic endeavours. So this means that I have to EARN this money BY MYSELF.

Easy peasy, right? WRONGO.

Tomorrow I'm attending a workshop in Toronto for young career-seekers (a.k.a ME). And then I'm heading straight to a real-live interview downtown for a job that could potentially help me rake in the monies. 
So in lieu (see, I'm practicing my professional terminology!) of tomorrow's job-acquiring potential, I spent today raiding my closet to find a "Hey, I look really good so HIRE ME GODDAMIT" look.

Patterns and Buttons

Birds-Eye View

And some shoesies

The blouse in detail

It's seeing photos such as this when I realize that I am actually a midget-sized gremlin stuck in the body of........a midget-sized gremlin.

But which should I choose????

Bathroom  iPhone photo-shoot. LEGIT.

So to trick my interviewer into thinking I'm actually a grown-up, the hair went down.  

And this is my reaction to having to BE a grown-up. Not happy.

The final outfit is profesh (See, the preceding is a word I would not use in an interview. I'm soooo ready.) but in a "I still have a personality" kind of way. 

But still, if you do nothing else tonight, pray for me. 

Merci.

Omama-Nation

This is a story about a little girl who grew up on an island in the Caribbean, eating mangoes and drinking coconut milk (well, I'm sure she did more than that, but this is a bedtime story so for narrative's sake, I've got to leave out the boring bits), who got booted out of the country and shipped to the Motherland at the wee age of 13. And it was on said Motherland where she conveniently ended up becoming a mother who today lives on a peninsula, surrounded by a large body of water (except this time it's a lake and not the ocean; buzz-kill, I know), eating puff pastry and drinking red wine. And she gave birth to MEEEEEEEEEE (so I kind of owe her one). 

Mama Power deserved VIP treatment on this Mother's Day and that IS what she got.

Let us reminisce about the day...

First things first, this is my mother. This 5 foot nothin' woman birthed me and then sang this song. What can't she do???

And this is where the action went down.

And this is the action. And I made this. I'm still in shock.

And these are the actors.

And the stars of the show.

Ok, who am I kidding, THIS is the star of the show.

And who can forget the supporting actor? Yummy.

À la Carte: 
Roasted chicken and brie pies with honey and mustard
Garlic baguette skewers
Mediterranean salad with homemade feta cheese dressing
Summer fruits and ice cream

Make em' yourself! Do yo mama proud.

Ladies and Lace

Since it is apparent that I have a  fetish for bad-ass female musicians who rock the style scene, I thought I'd share the latest who are following in the stilleto-cized footsteps of Yelle and Dragonette. These are none other than the lassies from Ladies of the Canyon. I saw this Montreal-bred, alt-country quartet perform in my hometown last summer and while their unfairly gorgeous harmonies rang through the bar and silenced EVERYONE, I went through a process of quasi-hypnotism in their presence. It went a little like this....

Step 1: A near harmony-induced knockout (a.k.a. I almost fell over due to this sudden onslaught of a whole lotta AMAZING).

Step 2: Some socially unacceptable staring on my part, which one might understandably interpret as an indication of  lesbian leanings. (In my defense, they just dress really well, and you know I become weak in the knees at such sartorial sightings!)

Anyways, these girls are seriously talented, especially live. And this is coming from someone who makes every attempt to steer clear of country music ear-infiltration. 

Here be the photos from their debut album, Haunted Woman. Whoever styled this is a genius. 

 Well, I feel inadequate. How 'bout you?