How to Wear Fourrure

 This is how:

• ROCK IT.....hard
• ...or SOFT, since fur is generally quite pett-able and if it's not, well then I'm sorry sister but I don't know what poor animal died so that you could turn around and donate it's epidermis to the Salvation Army.
• Oh, and combine furs! AKA one fur is not enough. Fur on fur on fur is the better kind of threesome. 
• Let it be the "Hey, look at me!" piece on your body for the day. That means don't pull a Princess Beatrice on us. Leave the heavy-duty-headgear at home.
• Faux pas. What I mean is don't fake it. Go vintage or recycled instead! For example, pay $50 for a $305 recycled-fur backpack. Ya, that's right, I DID THAT.
• Question why, if you love wearing fur so much, you were not born a muskrat yourself? Fur and philosophy are one and the same you know.
• Keep that shit around for your grandkids, because IF YOU DON'T, they WILL put you in the crappy senior's home. The one where the nurses are all fat and you share a room with the crazy cat lady.
• Relish it, because this is the ONLY good thing about winter people!! No one likes talking snowmen or overweight bearded guys who gain hero-status by enslaving an entire race of small people just because they have pointy ears. 
• Well it's true.